Sometimes I just want to stab someone in the eye…..
With my dick.

#endtrans
Sometimes I just want to stab someone in the eye…..
With my dick.

#endtrans
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He had looked everywhere, high and low. In those small nooks and crevices that eludes an adults vision. Even getting down on his belly, to gain the needed perspective.
Still, nothing.
While on the floor, he peeked under his sofa where she lay sleeping. Empty.
Sitting upright on his haunches he put his head in his hands and sighed, careful not to wake her.
Another empty conquest. Another shell to kiss and screw, and feel nothing in return.
Doing this, has just become a compulsion now. There is no pleasure to take from this. Short of watching the faces and making them cum. Hearing the praises of prowess, and leaving sweat dripping on their bodies.
He looks up and recollects her telling him “I’m in love with you”.
Shit…
There is no magic here. No wand. No fucking Harry Potter story, to make all this feel right. The last time it “felt” right, well…that was a fucking joke. He’d just as well wipe that from the parchment of his memories.
He’ll keep looking, perhaps in the basement.
He knows he had a soul, but just can’t remember where he squirreled it away.
Looking down at her sleeping naked body, he thinks “Fuck…she needs to go home, I won’t be able to sleep”.
He can look later…he won’t need it for her.
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Another long and droning phone call.
Listening to the bullshit on the other end.
It all blends together and I hear the voice of Charlie Browns teacher.
Wonk wonk…wah wonk wonk…..
I can only tolerate a handful of seconds that seem to drag on for an eternity.
The only option I have is to hang up.
Fuck it.
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Today marks the 11th anniversary of my dead wife.
It’s funny the little things you remember.
Sitting on the steps, because she could not smoke in the house.
Listening for the sound the water made when she rinsed her hair in the shower. Then scaring her.
Singing dirty songs, and having her laugh at how “wrong” I was.
Waking her up with breakfast in bed, almost every weekend.
Planning elaborate scavenger hunts, with hidden gifts at Christmas.
Love notes on the foggy mirror.
Cleaning her car for her, since she always left spots.
Making love almost every single day we were together.
Late night trips to get her a fountain drink while she was pregnant.
Her waking up in the small hours, just to eat a bowl of cereal and go back to sleep.
How my voice, would calm my son’s kicking in her womb.
Smelling her, always had this amazingly calming affect on me. Just breathing her in, and knowing she was close.
One of the most vivid memories I have was my morning ritual with her.
I would kiss her lightly on the face till she roused, and ask her:
“What can I do, to make you feel beautiful and loved today?”
I’ll never hear the answer again.

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Swirling leaves, bustling couples and autumn scents.
Earthy tones, cool winds, an adorned picket fence.
Mulled wines, hands in pockets, sassafras limbs.
Warmed hearths, knitted caps, Holiday trim.
The sites and smells, places where memories come to life.
Sweating through the days of summer,
lusting for wintry firelit nights.
©MilkThistle Music. All rights reserved

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